Feeding the Troops

Last weekend was the Euro Steam Con, a continentwide series of gatherings for like-minded people.

The French edition, in Paris, involved a picnic on the Saturday. Not living there, and with limited access to load-bearing minions at such short notice, the Ministry limited its offer to the public to a Large Bag, which would be filled with biscuits in order to offer as many calories as possible.
Considering how fast they disappeared, despite the doubts of people as to the biscuits really being free of charge or funny substances, people seem to have liked them.


We felt that variety would be better, and six different recipes were used, but the most challenging biscuits were, without a doubt, the product of the ProfessorsFoglio's imagination,
The Mechanicsburg Gingerbread Trilobites.
The gingerbread part was not too difficult, apart from finding Golden Syrup, which can be tricky in France. Once that was found, a slight hurdle remained. Making them into trilobites. Surprisingly, we could not locate a single cookie cutter in that shape. Off to the lab, then.
Step 1) Draw the pattern.
Step 2) Transfer said pattern onto a block of wood.
Step 3) Deeply engrave the lines, here by using a pyrography tool.
Step 4) Using some low melting point plastic, create the stamp itself by rolling the melted plastic onto the design, with as much pressure as possible.
Step 5) Wait for the plastic to cool down before adding the final touches (sanding, smoothing)
Step 6) Make a ring from the same plastic in the proper shape, so the biscuit will be the proper shape and ready to be stamped.

The gingerbread recipe was foundon the BBC website,
We only added a pinch of ground clove, and did not use any icing



Once ready and cool, roll the dough and get cutting and stamping.

This is the only known picture of the Gingerbread Trilobites before their disappearance.

Project Ghost-Grappling: Pictures

From the Drawing Board - 1

"Please excuse the crudity of this model. I didn't have time to build it to scale or paint it."
Dr E.L. Brown.

Dubious Research, chapter 2

Tapping Belief.

Christianity appears to have been the most-followed religion on the planet for a long time.

As such, it should probably be our main focus. Once the process has been tested, we may extend it to also cover other religions, allowing access to more Belief.

In 1900, the main religions were:

1. Christianity
2. Hinduism
3. Islam
4. Buddhism

Belief is often expressed through prayer, a way to communicate with a higher being, or with the universe at large. Let us assume that a properly tuned antenna can receive part of this belief. A way to pick up a certain frequency.

Specially adapted tuning forks could be made to vibrate within the field of Belief.

Quartz crystals are piezo-electric, and generate electricity when under mechanical stress.

This electricity can then be stored in Leyden jars, to be released as bursts whenever required.

Aether.

Imponderable Fluids

For this we may rely on the method patented by Mr Martin Ziegler., Improved Imponderable Fluid, And Mode Of Generating The Same.

The method relies purely on the reaction of two different materials, one nitrous, the other carbon.

For convenience, we shall stay away from ammonia, and other liquid compounds.

Saltpetre (potassium nitrate) is a common substance, and can be found in powder form.

Graphite, the main component of pencil leads, is made of pure carbon.

To conduct the fluid, we shall use silk threads, as suggested in the patent.

Spirit.

This is where the work becomes interesting, as we cannot easily employ actual human spirit.

The hypothesis is that ghosts are an amalgam of these three elements (Belief, Aether & Spirit).

Our construct does not need to be sentient, it only needs to carry a positive charge.

It should also project the intent behind the intervention. Namely, getting rid of the ghost, and protecting people from it.

During the course of history, many elements have been given protective properties, and we are spoiled for choice. However, the smaller elements would be preferable for practical purposes.

We have chosen:

• Amber: to drive away demons and protect against insanity. This last part may be quite useful.
• Amethyst: helps hunters and protects against black magic and negativity.
• Chalcedony: protecting against nightmares, demons, harmful spirits and mental disorders.
• Coral: protecting against spells, black magic, and evil.
• Emerald: enemy of all enchantments, will banish demons, returns negative spells to sender.
• Garnet: protects from evil, wards off poison, lightning and plague
• Jet: driving away demons, proof against possession, ward against the Evil Eye.
• Pearls: driving away demons, protecting against evil
• Peridot: expelling phantoms, ridding people of their follies.
• Sapphire: against evil spirits and deceit

(More information can be found from many sources, but we found Gemlore, by Diane Morgan, both instructive and entertaining.)

The stream of combined energies shall be focused through a lens, allowing for a wide dispersion of thin line, depending on the number and size of the entities to be dealt with.

Some of said entities may not disperse, but may only be weakened. Those may need to be contained.

For this purpose, we have designed a trap, mostly based on The Art of Drawing Spirits into Crystals by Johannes Trithemius, a 16^th century text (or possibly older.)

To its basics were added several of the aforementioned stones, with the addition of a silver mirror under the crystal. Indeed, some cultures think that mirrors and photographs can trap souls. Since those have a common element in silver, it seemed a logical decision. As a power source, we used fulgurite, a stone created by the heat of thunderbolts striking the ground.

A lens was set in the top of the box, to direct to the spirit to the crystal.

As an additional layer of protection, the four sides of the box bear a St Benedict medal, known as the “Devil-chasing medal”, for it carries the Vade Retro Satana formula.
At the bottom of the box is engraved the Seal with which Solomon compelled spirits into a brass vessel.

For extra conductivity, all elements within those parts of the equipment are linked with a twist of three wires made of different metals: iron, copper and brass, all used in magnetic batteries such as Boyd's.

What does it have in its pocketses?

Two months since the last post. Bad. Baaaaad.
But predictable, with hints of "I told you so."

There is, however, some work being done behind the scenes at the Ministry, as well as a whole lot of procrastination. The proportion may not be half and half, and considering that the deadline is coming, more work is likely to be done this month. If not, the project is going to be late.

The uniform pocket is nearly finished, it only needs to be sewed on:

With barely a drop of blood spilled, too.

Whistle while you work

And if that isn't enough, or if you can't whistle, here is a collection of wax cylinders.
Should it become too much, they may say that you cannot stop the music, a well-aimed mallet blow should fix any such problems.
The Cylinder Preservation and Digitization Project

Official stamp

Finally, managed to find the drated thing again.
I swear someone comes around every night just to hide the stationery.
Of course, it could also be something.

Dubious Research, chapter 1

Ministry of Dubious Affairs

Department of Research

What if? Is one of the key elements in Dubious Research. Many would go as far as calling it Mad Science. Today we concern ourselves with What If Ghosts Were Real.

Most particularly, what if we needed to get rid of them.

Many humans believe in ghosts. Some even hunt them.

Spiritism and Post-Mortem Communication have always been popular, around the world.

Let us assume that those efforts are not in vain, and that ghosts, spirits left behind by dead humans, are real. These may only be a shadow of the beings they once were, but that still means that at some point they were human. Which may mean Trouble.

Belief is a strong force. It is commonly thought, within certain circles, that any “religious” symbol may be used against vampires, as long as the person has real faith, really believes in it.

Sorcery, charms and curses are said to only work if the people involved believe in them.

What if people's beliefs were some form of as-yet untapped energy, only available on a metaphysical plane? Could it take form by interacting with the aether?

Could ghosts be a contruct of spirit, belief and aether?

Let us work on the premise that it is the case. Dubious logic? Well, yes, what else did you expect from us?

If ghosts exist because people believe in them, it is possible that the same applies for other things.

We chose to apply this theory to a way of preventing said ghosts from causing trouble.

Harmful ghosts would most likely carry some negative energy, which one of our trainees keeps referring to as “Bad Vibes”, which would have to be cancelled by a construct of opposite polarity.

A first problem appears as many people naturally believe in ghosts, but only a select few will be aware of the means created to neutralise them. Ghosts can be created out of a far larger belief potential than the counteracting construct, and they also posess their own spirit.

As such, the fight would not be a fair one, and the rules need to be changed.

We suggest nothing less than altering reality around the... ghost grappler.

How to achieve this?

The operator needs to believe that this is possible.

This belief may then be amplified through a specially-designed instrument.

The Reality Modulator

Made of the following parts:

• The Improbability Aggregator: a platypus charm. If such an animal can exist, who knows what can actually be achieved?
• A horseshoe nail
• A butterfly

• Items of dubious actuality:
  • a strand of wool from a Hobbit scarf
  • a ring of chainmail created by Weta Workshop
  • a chip of Police Box blue paint.
  • A fake forged stamp.
    • - A Lexicographic battery: two dictionaries framing the rest of the modulator, for the potential existing in words.

Once we have a chance to tip the scales in our favour, we can move onto the required elements.

Belief

Aether

Spirit.

Belief

There is a lot of belief in the world. It is often linked to religion.
Think of it as a refined form. Raw belief gone through a special filtre.

Sympathetic resonance through the use of the appropriate religious symbols should allow us to tap into this worldwide reserve.

Aether

This is present all around us too, but is even less tangible than belief.

We shall need to draw it out of thin air, then distil it, and store it until it is required.

Spirit

This may be problematic. It would be inconvenient to require the operator to die, and there is no guarantee that they would not turn against you. Spirit needs to be replaced, and this is where positive vibrations need to be involved. 

To Be Continued.

Work in progress

.-- .... --- / .- .-. . / -.-- --- ..- / --. --- .. -. --. / - --- / -.-. .- .-.. .-.. / ..--..

1st step in a long series.

------------------
Première étape d'une longue série.

Chainmail: it does chafe a bit.

Well, that didn't take long, did it? Already stalling, procrastinating... and of course, not writing.

The latest project, if it even counts as a project, was Chainmail, How to Make It.

I had obtained from the good people at Weta Workshop one of their chainmail keyrings, using the same technique and material as those used in the Lord of the Rings. 

The pattern is known as European Four in One. Because you link four rings with one. It lies relatively flat, and does look good.

Once you get started and understand how it works, it could nearly be fast to make.

In the interest of Ministry Budget and Least Amount of Mess, I bought cheap jewellery jump rings, made of brass. Possibly. I could have tried making the rings myself, I suppose, but the Ministry's workshop is currently unavailable, and its work table might only be found after the archaeology department agree to lose a few of their trainees in a rescue dig. Those are expensive. (Digs, not trainees.)

I followed these instructions, which uses animated examples. However, this may be the fastest way.

The result so far: a rather uncomfortable handkerchief, and the satisfaction of knowing that I can do it.

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Eh bien, cela n'aura pas pris longtemps. Déjà en train de trainer, de procrastiner.. et bien sur pas en train d'écrire.

Le dernier projet, s'il compte comme un projet, est la Cotte de Maille, et Comment La Faire.

J'ai obtenu des bonnes gens de Weta Workshop l'un de leurs porte-clés en cotte de maille, utilisant les même technique et matériaux que ceux utilisés pour le Seigneur des Anneaux.

La méthode est dite « Quatre en Un Européen », parce que l'on glisse quatre maillons dans un seul. Elle se tient à peu près plate, et est agréable à regarder.

Une fois que cous avez commencé et comprenez comment elle fonctionne, elle pourrait presque être rapide à assembler.

Dans l'intérêt du Budget du Ministère et du Fouillis Minimum, j'ai acheté des anneaux brisés pour bijouterie, en laiton. Peut-être. J'aurais pu essayer de les faire moi-même, mais l'atelier du Ministère est pour le moment indisponible, et son établi pourrait être être retrouvé si le département d'archéologie acceptait de perdre un ou deux stagiaires dans une opération de fouilles. Cela reste cher. (Les fouilles, pas les stagiaires.)

J'ai suivi ces instructions, qui utilisent des exemples animés. Cependant, ceci pourrait être la méthode la plus rapide. Le résultat pour le moment : un mouchoir inconfortable, et la satisfaction de savoir que je peux le faire.

 

A pin or nine can save time.

I put a spell on you... (Hocus Pocus version, of course)

This week* in the Ministry Files:

Voodoo dolls, the practitioner's favourite cuddly toy.

The dolls are meant to represent the target of whichever interesting time you wish to see enacted.

You could certainly run after someone with pins, but it isn't as discreet or sneaky. And there could be witnesses. The dolls can have many different looks, but we prefer the easy “Gingerbread Man” model, as it easily doubles as an interesting pin cushion.

1. Draw a rough shape for your doll, you may use a cookie cutter as a guide. Remember to make the outline slightly wider to compensate for the doll's thickness.
2. Prepare your fabric, here the same old linen as the mandrake root in the previous post. Pin two layers, draw the outline of the pattern.
3. Sew the two layers together, leaving the top of the head open. Cut around the shape.
4. Turn the doll inside out, stuff with batting of choice.
5. Close the top of the head, done here using a blanket stitch running all around the doll, for looks as well as durability.
6. Choose buttons for the eyes, sew in place. Embroider a mouth and heart.
7. Be careful with those pins. The Ministry declines all responsibility.

*As if I were going to update this thing weekly. But I suppose one can hope.


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Cette semaine* dans les dossiers du Ministère :

Les poupées vaudou, je jouet favori des praticiens.

Les poupées sont sensées représenter la cible de tout ce que vous pouvez souhaiter.

Vous pouvez certainement courir après quelqu'un avec des épingles, mais ce n'est ni aussi discret, ni sournois. Et il pourrait y avoir des témoins. Les poupées peuvent avoir différents styles, mais nous préférons le « bonhomme de pain d'épice », plus facile, qui peut aussi servir de pelote d'épingles.

1. Dessinez la forme de votre poupée, vous pouvez utiliser un emporte-pièce comme guide. Souvenez-vous de laisser de la marge autour du tracé pour compenser l'épaisseur de la poupée.
2. Préparez votre tissus, ici le même vieux drap de lin que la mandragore du post précédent. Épinglez les deux épaisseurs, dessinez la silhouette.
3. Cousez les deux épaisseurs, en laissant le haut de la tête ouvert. Découpez autour de la silhouette.
4. Retournez la poupée, remplissez de bourre.
5. Fermez le haut de la tête, ici avec un point de boutonnière, continué tout autour de la poupée, pour l'aspect autant que pour la solidité.
6. Choisissez des boutons pour les yeux, cousez en place, brodez une bouche et un cœur.
7. Attention aux épingles. Le Ministère décline toute responsabilité.

*Comme si j'allais mettre le blog à jour chaque semaine. Mais je suppose qu'il y a toujours un peu d'espoir.

Botany

Another file from the archives

The mandrake, Mandragora officinarum , said to grow under gallows, due to a certain... fertiliser not found anywhere else. Its scream as it was uprooted reputedly killed people, and its magical properties were of dubious taste.

Various antique illustrations may be found on Bibliodissey.

We endeavoured to create a simple simulacrum with a friendlier look.

1. Prepare a simple pattern, drawing the shape of the root you would like to obtain, slightly wider as it will be stuffed. Then cut a simple leaf pattern.

Examples are provided:

2. Choose your fabrics. The example was made of vintage, rather thick linen, and the leaves were made of dark green velveteen/imitation suede, with thin, lighter green lining. As the project is small, it may be easier to sew first, and then only cut. Fold your fabric in two, or place two parts with the right sides facing. (You will need several leaves)
3. Pin both sides of the fabric, and sew. The top of the “head” and leaf stem should be left open, to enable you turn the result inside out.
4. Cut around the seams, leaving just enough to make sure they will hold.
5. Turn the root and leaves inside out.
6. Add rootlets to the main root, using thread, twine...
7. Stuff the root with batting, cotton wool... pack tightly, leaving some empty space at the top.
8. Embroider the veins on the leaves, the open stem may help you hide some thread, if you are as good as I am when it comes to embroidery. Once done, sew the stems shut.
9. Gather the stems in a crown, you may want to add a flower or two. These were made of felt (after a few tries with lighter material), on a braided embroidery floss stem. Sew together.
10. Slip the bottom of the stems in the top of the root, adjust stuffing if necessary. Sew the root top closed, making sure to sew through the stems too.

Leaves have been cut individually to save fabric, but it may be easier in the end to create a one piece“crown”. It may also be easier to obtain artificial flowers, thus lessening the amount of cursing required.

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MANDRAGORE

La mandragore, Mandragora officinarum, a la réputation de pousser sous les gibets,

grâce à un certain... engrais que l'on ne trouve nulle part ailleurs. Son cri lors

de l'arrachage pouvait, selon la légende, tuer, et ses propriétés magiques n'étaient pas du meilleur goût.

Des illustrations d'époque peuvent être trouvées sur Bibliodissey.

Nous avons essayé d'en créer un simulacre simple, à l'allure plus amicale.

1) Préparez un patron simple, en dessinant la forme de la racine que vous désirez,

légèrement plus large afin d’accommoder la bourre. Découpez ensuite la forme d'une feuille simple.

Des exemples sont fournis:

2) Choisissez vos tissus. L'exemple a été réalisé à partir d'un vieux drap de lin,

et les feuilles à partir de suédine vert foncé, et de doublure vert clair.

Le projet étant relativement petit, il peut être plus facile de coudre avant de couper.

Pliez votre tissus en deux, ou placez-les afin que les endroits se fassent face. (Vous aurez besoin de plusieurs feuilles)

3) Épinglez les deux morceaux, et cousez. Le haut de la "tête" et la tige des feuilles doivent être laissés ouverts, afin de retourner le tissus.

4) Coupez autour des coutures, en vous assurant de laisser suffisamment de tissus pour qu'il ne se découse pas.

5) Retournez les racines et feuilles.

6) Ajoutez les radicelles à la racine principale en utilisant du fil ou de la ficelle.

7) Remplissez la racine de bourre, de coton... assurez-vous de bien la compacter, en laissant un peu de place dans la "tête".

8) Brodez des veines sur les feuilles, la tige encore ouverte peut vous aider à cacher les fils, si vous êtes aussi doués que moi en broderie. Vous pourrez ensuite coudre les tiges pour les fermer.

9) Assemblez les tiges en couronne, et vous pourrez ajouter une ou deux fleurs. Celles-ci on été découpées dans de la feutrine, attachées avec du fil à broder. Cousez ensemble.

10) Glissez le bas des tiges dans le haut de la racine, ajustez la bourre, fermez et cousez, en vous assurant de passer au-travers des tiges.

Les feuilles ont été découpées individuellement afin d'économiser du tissus, il pourrait être plus simple de créer une couronne d'une seule pièce, limitant le nombre de jurons nécessaire.

 

First cases...

... or possibly just boxes. From the archives

Both created as part of booth décor. Pardon the clutter in the background, but you may as well get used to it. Dabbling in the Dubious is a messy business.
Those were an experiment in gaff-making, using mostly paper mâché for the hand and head.
The contents:

A shrunken head, a Hand of Glory, and a rosary.
The rosary uses an old, broken cross pendant which had lost its ring, glued on a piece of reclaimed wood. The beads are carved wood, and were bought. They were linked using brass wire.
The head is made of paper mâché, a small ball formed into the rough shape of the head, covered in a first layer of paper towels with glue.The nose/lips/eyelids/ears, shaped out of small rolls of tissue paper, were glued over the base. All was covered with a layer or two of paper towels. Once dry, it was "painted" with shoe polish, an idea gleaned from The Museum of Everything. Twine was threaded through the lips (note to self: do plan on that before adding too much paper on top next time) and knotted.

The hand was slightly more demanding.
The base is made of cardboard, cut around the shape of a hand. Wire was taped to it, using masking tape, which helped put some flesh on those "bones". Part of the ulna and radius were made of rolled-up cardboard, but not glued to the rest. After a first thin layer of tissue paper,  applied with a water/wood glue mix, the tendons were added to the top of the hand, actually parts of a cotton wick for a cheap oil/alcohol lamp. The rest of the muscles and flesh was made of cotton wool, each part individually, the ends of the cotton ball being flattened and fanned where they met the bone. Once the flesh was applied, it was covered with a few layers of paper towels.

Painting could have been an option, but not necessarily the easiest.
Most of this prop was paper. Cellulose. Vaguely the same as wood. It seemed reasonable to try a wood aging technique:
Make some strong, very dark tea. Paint liberally over the prop.
In a glass jar, dissolve thin steel wool in white vinegar. Once completely dissolved, paint over the tea'd prop.
The reaction is fast, and rather impressive.

Some parts had received too much glue, so the paper wasn't really tinted. I glued cotton wool over those, with a water/wood glue/brown silk paint mix (old leftovers).
The nail bed was made by cutting/pushing the flesh on top until it looked decent, and then clear nail polish was applied, though something not as soft would have worked better. After a few coats, some acrylic paint was applied to dull the shine, and darken the nail. I then painted a thin layer of melted wax on the dry prop, and used a hair dryer to help melt it into the paper.

The picture in that box was purchased from an antiques shop, and is held by loops of wire, to avoid glue or holes. The candle is made of a mix of beeswax and paraffin wax, the label made of aged paper (tea again), typed on an old typewriter. The seal was made using an old hunting outfit button.
The beeswax added a certain smell to the prop and helped with the general feeling. I also added a few cloves in the box, out of sight.

It is far from perfect, but people didn't like to look at it too much, asking if it was a fake.
Mission accomplished.

---------------------------------------------

Les deux boîtes ont été créées comme décor pour un stand. Veuillez excuser le fouillis

en arrière plan, mais mieux vaut vous y habituer. Le Douteux a tendance à être désordonné.

Les deux étaient un essai de recréation de spécimens de foire, en utilisant du papier mâché.

Le contenu:

Une tête réduite, une main de gloire, et un chapelet.

Le chapelet a été assemblé à partir d'un ancien pendentif crucifix dont l'anneau avait cassé, collé à

un morceau de bois de récupération. Les perles sont en bois sculpté, et achetées. Le tout a été assemblé

avec du fil de laiton.

La tête est faite de papier mâche, une petite boule en forme de tête, couverte d'une première couche de

serviettes en papier et de colle. Le nez, les lèvres, oreilles et paupières ont été formés à partir de boudins

de serviettes en papier, et collés à la base. Le tout a été recouvert d'une autre couche de serviettes.

Une fois sec, le résultat a été "peint" au cirage, idée inspirée par The Museum of Everything.

De la ficelle a été passée à-travers les lèvres (à noter qu'il vaut mieux prévoir les trous à l'avance), et nouée.

La main a demandé un peu plus de travail.

La base est faite de carton découpé selon le contour d'une main. Du fil de fer y a été attaché avec du ruban à masquer,

ce qui a aidé à ajouter de la chair sur les "os". Le cubitus et le radius ont été faits à partir de carton roulé, mais n'ont pas été collés au reste.

Une couche de mouchoirs en papier a été ajoutée, avec un mélange eau/colle à bois, les tendons, faits de mèches de coton, ont été collés sur le dos de la main.

Le reste des muscles et de la chair est fait de coton hydrophile, individuellement, les bouts aplatis et collés à l'"os". Une fois la chair appliquée, elle a été couverte d'une autre couche de papier.

Peindre la main aurait été une option, mais pas forcément la plus simple.

Elle était faite en majorité de papier. De la cellulose. Vaguement la même chose que du bois, il semblait donc raisonnable d'utiliser une méthode pour vieillir du bois:

Préparez du thé très fort, très sombre. Appliquez largement sur la main.

Dans un bocal en verre, faites dissoudre de la laine d'acier dans du vinaigre blanc. Une fois la laine dissoute, appliquez par-dessus le thé. La réaction est rapide, et assez impressionnante.

Quelques parties avaient reçu trop de colle, et le papier n'avait pas pris la teinte. J'ai rajouté du coton par-dessus, avec un mélange eau/colle/peinture.

Le lit de l'ongle a été marqué en coupant dans la "chair" et en la repoussant, et quelques couches de vernis à ongle ont été appliquées. Quelque chose de moins souple aurait été préférable.

Après quelques couches, l'ongle a été recouvert de peinture pour le ternir.

Une fois la main sèche, j'y ai ensuite appliqué une couche de cire fondue, en utilisant un sèche-cheveux pour l'aider à fondre dans le papier.

La photo a été achetée chez un antiquaire, et est attachée par des anneaux de fil de laiton, afin de ne pas avoir à la coller ou coller. La bougie est faite d'un mélange de cire d'abeille et paraffine, et le papier de l'étiquette a été vieilli avec du thé, le texte tapé sur une vieille machine à écrire.

Le sceau est l'empreinte d'un ancien bouton de chasse.

La cire d'abeille ajoute une odeur intéressante, et j'ai également caché quelques clous de girofle dans la boite.

On est loin de la perfection, mais les gens passant à proximité ne les regardaient pas trop, et demandaient s'il s'agissait de faux.

Mission accomplie.

CAVEAT LECTOR

Ladies and Gentlemen,

It is with the greatest pleasure, and least regard to current financial difficulties that we announce the creation of the Ministry of Dubious Affairs.

This new institution shall concern itself with the weird, unexplained, plain gross, and any other shades of dubious. It shall delve into archives, dabble in the arcane, dig with archaeologists, and possibly even deserve acclaim. As well as demonstrate alliteration.

Sensibilities may, and most probably will, be hurt. Read at your own risk.

As with any institution running on a nonexistant budget, work may be sporadic*†‡.

Updates may depend on mood, time, weather, age of the captain, procrastination, Things Man Was Not Meant To Know, and, Om forbid, Real Life.

* Nothing to do with mushrooms.

† Any of you familiar with government work may notice that the same result can be obtained with truckloads of your currency of choice.

‡ Footnotes may appear on a regular basis.

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Mesdames et Messieurs,

C'est avec le plus grand plaisir, et le moins de considération pour les présentes difficultés financières, que nous annonçons la création du Ministère des Affaires Douteuses. 

Cette nouvelle institution se chargera du bizarre, de l'inexpliqué, du répugnant, et de toutes les autres nuances de douteux. Elle plongera dans les archives, creusera avec les archéologues, et peut-être même méritera des louanges. 

Les susceptibilités ne seront pas ménagées. Lisez à vos risques et périls.

Comme pour toute institution fonctionnant sur un budget inexistant, le travail pourrait être sporadique*†‡.

Les mises à jour dépendront de l'humeur, de l'heure, de la météo, de l'âge du capitaine, de la procrastination, des Choses Que L'Homme N'Est Pas Sensé Connaitre, et, Om nous vienne en aide, La Vraie Vie. 

* Rien à voir avec les champignons.

† Toute personne familière avec les travaux gouvernementaux notera que le même résultat peut être obtenu avec d'énormes sommes de la monnaie de leur choix.

‡ Les notes en bas de pages pourraient apparaitre régulièrement.

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